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  • Writer's pictureFati Haruna

Don’t Need No Hateration, Holleration, In This Dancery!

One thing that I have noticed is that people do not typically like “change”. I’ve touched on this before. Anything that deviates from the norm is sometimes scary because it’s a leap in a new direction. Have you ever noticed that there are times when you mention something new and exciting going on in your life, or even a new venture that you’re starting, and a “friend” isn’t matching your energy or showing much support? Or, that you get more support from strangers or those who are not very close to you, before you get support from your “closer” friends? That’s some real hater ish. A hater is defined as a negative or critical person. They really have no place in your life, and you should treat them as what they are. This does not mean that anyone who disagrees with you is a hater. You also have to be self-aware. How often do you support your friends when they have something new and exciting going on? Whether it’s a new job, new relationship, new home, new apartment, new business opportunity or venture, etc. There are times where you aren’t getting the support from your friends simply because you do not show them any support. --At that point you’re just frenemies and you should probably stop being “friends.” Here are some signs you should look for when identifying whether someone you think is your friend, is truly a hater:

1. They can NEVER give you a compliment. Like dang shawty, you don’t like this outfit either!? Even if they do, it’s a backhanded compliment like, “oh cute, you kept the weight off!”

2. They’re always negative even if its something positive. Your hater most certainly doesn’t like to see you happy, because they are deeply miserable.

3. They try to compete with you. Your friend should be your support system, not someone that’s always trying to 1-up you. That’s just weird.

4. They talk s$%t about you behind your back. People usually get this misconstrued with someone discussing an issue you two may have with another person. I’m talking about straight up talking crap about you to others, and then smiling in your face. I know a few.

5. They’re judgmental toward you. They always think whatever their beliefs are, is superior to yours, and usually they’re very condescending.

And last but not the least, it’s the lack of support when it matters. People like that have no place in your life because all they would do is make you lose confidence within yourself. You’ll always second guess yourself, and you’ll bring your self-esteem down. Haters are usually miserable people, or they are actually just jealous of you, your aura, and your continuance to win. They are just mad because they can’t be YOU. Remember, self-awareness is important because you can be the hater in someone else’s life without realizing it. Use the hate as motivation and keep going!

“You’re doing amazing sweetie!”



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