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  • Writer's pictureFati Haruna

Imagine Dating Someone That Doesn’t Allow You To Be Yourself

Walk with me. You’re at a club with your friends having a great time and a person of interest approaches you while you’re in your element. You exchange numbers with this individual and you guys hit it off. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, months begin to turn into a year, and your relationship is going in an amazing direction. THEN, you start getting certain comments about the clothes you're wearing, the pictures you're posting, the video games you love, the excessive pickup basketball games you're playing with friends, the post-workout videos you're posting to show your progress or gains, the fresh haircut selfie videos (because now, you're just thirst trapping), your friends suddenly aren't good enough anymore, and the jokes you tell are now corny. None of this ever mattered before when the person met you, but now it's a problem. The point I'm getting as is that, when you meet someone, they show you exactly who they are. You make these observations and should use discernment to figure out if this is someone you want to get to know some more, or not. Sometimes people see someone that they are interested in aesthetically, and think "I can fix them". No, you can not. Every individual has their own personality, and if that does not work for you, then like a micro ponytail, don't force it. This only shows insecurity. And again, if you are insecure in your relationship, its best you hit the road. It's better to get involved with someone that you can grow with, not someone who would hinder that growth.

On the other hand. Let's say you've been in a relationship with someone for years, and you've reached a place of comfort, to the point of boredom. Things stop being exciting and you feel yourself drifting away from your partner... right into the arms of the devil. SHAME. Communicate with your partner to figure out different ways to spice up your relationship. Find new activities, new date ideas, different boom boom room activities, and don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone.

You can’t help who you’re attracted to. But don't let any of your insecurities drive you to change your partner, or control them. It won't make either of you happy. Besides, individuality will always reign supreme.


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