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  • Writer's pictureFati Haruna

Okay, So You Went Through Their Phone. Now What ?

This isn’t an attack. I promise.

(it’s an attack)


Personally, I’m against going through phones. I don’t feel like there’s a justifiable reason to. There was only one time in my life where I went through a guy’s phone and I basically threw up. I didn’t even go through it on purpose. I wanted to check the time, and I saw a message pop up, of a girl who has my name. So I’m like “?????” I know I didn’t text this young man 25 minutes ago. Out of curiosity I clicked the messages and man oh man… that one time was enough for me to learn my lesson. On the flip side, I’ve had someone go through my phone too, and let’s just say, an ego was bruised (🥲). But I hated the feeling of the invasion of my privacy.

I think, if you feel like you need to go through your partner’s phone to prove something that you may already know, stop and have an honest conversation with them. Even if they lie to you, everything done in the dark always comes to light. Going through someone’s phone is always negative regardless of intentions.


  1. Invasion of privacy. It’s just a bit cringe. You’re reading my messages, my friend’s messages, messages with my family, etc. Why? The person on the other end didn’t consent to you reading their texts to this person, and you’re not entitled to it.

  2. You’re gonna stay anyway. You went through the phone, found what you were looking for, you’re screaming, crying, throwing up, snot dripping down your nose. You wipe your face, take a shower, and lay right next to them again at the end of the night. So what was the purpose?

  3. You’re searching because you’re also guilty of something. Often, people try to find a way to justify their bad actions or behavior by hitting you with a reverse. “Oh well they’re doing that, so it doesn’t matter that I’m doing this.“ At that point just break up.

  4. You don’t pay their phone bill. Even if you do, you should just save your money cuz you’re still not that entitled.

If you think you've seen bad, whatever you will see on your partner's phone is worse. I can guarantee that you will be holding your chest the entire time. But look, you shouldn’t feel the need to have to hide your phone from your partner. If you are actually doing something ungodly, just go f*ck off with whoever you’re hiding from your partner or discuss having an open relationship (or whatever the kids call it these days). Many people would rather the truth than to be lied to. A person also shouldn’t have to go into FBI mode just to find answers. But also, stop handing the phone over to them to go through it in the first place. STAND UP. Whether you're doing something or not, theres no love without trust.

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