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  • Writer's pictureFati Haruna

"Stink" is not a cute nickname.

Heyy stink 👋🏾! I hope I didn't trigger you. My opinion doesn't really matter actually, but I'm wondering where that nickname even comes from? What part of you stinks? Or is that not what it means? Let me know. The real reason I gathered you all here is to discuss verbal abuse. I'm not saying that the former point I brought up is abuse (its not), its just an ugly nickname and serves as an attention grabber, I hope it worked.

Has someone ever attempted to flirt with you and instead of pouring words of love and empowerment into you, they say the most insulting things, that either picks at your insecurities, your ego, your pride, or your sense of worth? Like dang baby I thought you wanted me... I guess not (Ja-Rule voice). Backhanded compliments are very weird, and when people do this, they are deeply insecure in their ability to attract you, therefore they may use those tactics to put you down. In my opinion, its some form of psychological manipulation that lowers your self esteem so that you can either bring your standards down and entertain them, or even feel as though you have to prove yourself to said person. Here are some things that you should look out for:

  1. Narcissists. Some people don't know the true definition of what a narcissist is, but if we can sum it up, they love to put people down to lift themselves up, and everything is me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Hang it up, flatscreen.

  2. Criticism. Not in the constructive way.

  3. You're the joke. All of a sudden they're Martin, and you're the punchline.

Keep it cute. But as the person who hurls these insults at people you claim to be interested in, what do you gain from it? How do you feel after? Verbal abuse can start minor and progress into something more sinister like emotional abuse and physical abuse. For men and women. It's time that men also stop being in denial about experiencing abuse from women. It's more common than you think. If someone tries to mask insults as flirting or as terms of endearment, please run. Fast.


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